Film: Newswire: Colin Trevorrow is working on a Flight Of The Navigator remake, not Star Wars

Variety has confirmed that the Safety Not Guaranteed team of Colin Trevorrow and Derek Connolly has been hired to rewrite Disney's long-developing remake of Flight Of The Navigator, the 1986 sci-fi film that argues that child abduction can be fun for everyone, so long as it's committed by a Beach Boys-loving robot alien who sort of sounds like Pee-wee Herman. Disney has been working out how to sell that premise to a more modern, touchier audience since 2009, and now it's up to Trevorrow and Connolly—whose Sundance favorite also dealt with a time-travel-based premise, albeit not one that involved a 12-year-old boy disappearing for eight years, but it's okay because this funny robot sounds like Pee-wee Herman and likes the Beach Boys.

Anyway, this clears up those recent remarks made by Trevorrow (who counts Navigator as a childhood favorite), wherein he denied working on the new Star Wars by saying he was tackling another property with a much-loved "mythology." It turns out he was, in fact, talking about the fiercely protected "mythology" of Flight Of The Navigator, which—like every mythology—has its roots in Joseph Campbell's monomyth theory of the hero who ventures forth from the common into the supernatural, and it's okay that he was abducted so an alien could experiment on him and that his parents thought he was dead for eight years, because hey, the alien is a loveable goofball.

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Film: Newswire: Lindsay Lohan affirms her existence with new charges for assault, lying to police

With the overwhelmingly negative response to Liz And Dick threatening to reduce her already tenuous grasp on stardom to gossamer illusion, Lindsay Lohan made a bid to remain shackled to this astral plane around 4 a.m. this morning when she was arrested for third-degree assault. According to various reports, Lohan became entangled in an argument with a Florida woman who bumped into her in the club's VIP section, threatening the stability of her orbit. Lohan allegedly said to the woman, "Give me my space"—a desperate demand for the tangible volume and mass of an object, clearly made by a person scared of imploding into nothingness. TMZ further reports that Lohan then allegedly punched this Florida woman in the face "for some reason," as gravitational collapse is a mystery of the universe that's so often beyond our human comprehension.

Having thus cemented her existence as a solid, Lohan was subsequently tethered to this dimension with handcuffs, then released with a desk appearance ticket for a later court date. She will now certainly be visible there, given that Lohan is also scheduled to be charged today with three all-new criminal counts, stemming from her allegedly lying to police officers in the wake of June's car accident. As Lohan also remains under probation for last year's theft from a jewelry store, these three new charges—combined with this morning's arrest—will most likely lead to a judge revoking Lohan's probation whenever she is arraigned, which could happen as early as next week. And this could once more lead to jail time for Lohan, and once again being sealed in a box that prevents her from simply disappearing into the void.  

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Film: Newswire: Seattle, Brooklyn, Austin, Arlington, and Denver—you've got the New Cult Canon next

Last night, we kicked off the first-ever New Cult Canon live tour, with a screening of Bad Santa in Chicago. We had a lively crowd and a fantastic guest, director Terry Zwigoff. The caravan left the city early this morning, headed toward points east and west: Tonight at Central Cinema in Seattle we've got another round of Bad Santa—again with Terry Zwigoff and his slideshow. Next Tuesday, December 4, it's the Nitehawk in Brooklyn, with A.V. Club editor Keith Phipps hosting (and showing you Terry's slideshow); that same lineup will greet movie-lovers at the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse on Thursday, December 6.

For those of you in a westerly direction, we've got two very special screenings of Black Christmas, which will feature a post-show Q&A with actress Margot Kidder. Those take place Wednesday, December 5 at the Alamo At The Ritz in Austin, and Friday, December 7 at the Denver Film Center in Denver.

And then it's on to Atlanta, Portland, St. Paul, Boston, and San Francisco. All presented by Mike's Hard Lemonade. Go here to our microsite for complete details and ticket information.

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Film: Newswire: Universal sues company for making Fifty Shades Of Grey porn before it could

Disgusted that someone would take their intellectual property about one woman's repeated, bondage-laced erotic encounters, and transform it into pandering masturbation fodder before they got the chance to, Universal has sued the makers of the redundantly titled Fifty Shades Of Grey: A XXX Adaptation. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Smash Pictures is the subject of the new lawsuit from the studio, which purchased the rights to turn E.L. James' clumsily written fantasies into brand-recognition reality last year. Unfortunately, Smash got to the material first, making a film that Universal claims steals "exact dialogue, characters, events, story, and style from the Fifty Shades trilogy… [ensuring] that the first XXX adaptation was, in fact, as close as possible to the original works"—albeit one free of this awkward argument pretending as though said works should be considered in loftier literary terms than porn, simply because someone put a dust jacket on it.

"Smash Pictures copies without reservation from the unique expressive elements of the Fifty Shades trilogy… The first XXX adaptation is not a parody, and it does not comment on, criticize, or ridicule the originals. It is a rip-off, plain and simple," Universal said of the porn film based on the extended fan-fiction riff on Twilight, where the brooding young vampire is swapped for a brooding young businessman with a taste for ass-play. Universal also derided Smash Pictures' "willful attempt to capitalize on the reputation of the book," given that they'd already paid $5 million to do that. 

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Music: Newswire: Dr. Dre made $110 million this year, mostly by selling headphones

Despite not releasing a record or doing much of anything this year besides performing with a Tupac hologram at Coachella, Dr. Dre is 2012’s highest-paid musician, according to Forbes. Dre nabbed the top spot with a total income of $110 million, $100 million of which he made by selling his widely popular but just-okay-sounding Beats By Dre headphones. Late last year—though counted toward this year’s totals—HTC paid $300 million to Dre and his partners for a 51-percent stake in that company. Dre and his partners later bought back half of what they sold, but these totals don’t really take into account what kind of money these musicians put out into the world, whether they’re buying companies or yachts or houses or whatever.

Roger Waters comes in second on the list, raking in a cool $88 million thanks in part to his tour behind The Wall. Elton John earned $80 million to put toward new wacky glasses, U2 $78 million, and Take That, the ‘90s British boy band that reunited in 2005, earned a cool $69 million to come in fifth. Taylor Swift and Paul McCartney both made $57 million, proving that Swift is just as immortal, talented, and relevant as a Beatle, and Justin Bieber—who is 18 goddamn years old—and Toby Keith tied at $55 million. Combined, Beyoncé and Jay-Z made $78 million for their little household. Meanwhile, Adele racked up a cool $35 million by sitting at home and having a baby. Finally, Michael Bublé and Sade bring up the bottom of the list with $34 and $33 million, respectively.

Check out all the totals here and weep, for you won't even come close to making as much money over the course of your entire life as Justin Bieber made in just a single year.

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Music: Newswire: Joe Budden kicks audience member out of show for tweeting mean things about him

Rappers can be so sensitive. Having apparently learned nothing from this summer’s MC Chris debacle, Joe Budden kicked a Bay Area woman out of his show in Oakland last night for sending a series of negative tweets from the audience. According to Hip Hop Wired, Budden had his security track down Twitter user @_Yellow_Paiges_ in the crowd, angry at the disparaging comments she’d been making about him, such as: tweeting a picture of NoDoz with the caption, “for the Budden concert tonight;” pointing out the low attendance; and repeatedly asserting that she was only at the show because she was there with her boyfriend. According to her tweets, security—who reportedly found her using her Twitter profile photo—then told @_Yellow_Paiges_ that “Joe Budden wants you out,” and that he wouldn’t take the stage until she'd left the building. She complied, tweeting that she felt “flattered” that he'd noticed.

Budden—who, in addition to being a solo artist, is one-fourth of the hip-hop sort-of-supergroup Slaughterhouse—is on tour now in support of several releases, including Slaughterhouse’s Welcome To: Our House. His latest solo effort, No Love Lost, is due out in January.

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Music: Newswire: Troubled former Queens Of The Stone Age bassist Nick Oliveri to contribute to new album

After employing Dave Grohl to play drums, Queens Of The Stone Age are unexpectedly looking to former bassist Nick Oliveri to contribute vocals to a song on the new record. Apparently, Queens frontman Josh Homme and Oliveri have let bygones be bygones following their heated split in 2004, where the goateed bassist was kicked out of band for being physically abusive to his girlfriend.

Since then, Oliveri hasn't exactly stayed out of trouble. He was responsible for another domestic dispute, this time involving a four-hour standoff with a S.W.A.T. team, a loaded rifle, and possession of cocaine and methamphetamines. After facing 15 years of prison and multiple felony counts for the incident, Oliveri pleaded "not guilty" and improbably struck a deal with prosecutors that allowed him to avoid jail time completely by doing three years of probation, community service, and anger management counseling.

Despite all this, a recent Facebook post from Oliveri's band Mondo Generator confirms that he has indeed "recently recorded his vocals on a new Queens Of The Stone Age song." Perhaps Mark Lanegan will also soon rejoin the band, thereby completely reuniting the lineup from its 2002 album Songs For The Deaf.

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TV: Newswire: Boy Meets World sequel gets Cory and Topanga—but probably not Shawn

When reports of a sequel to the TGIF staple Boy Meets World began circulating in early November, they were followed by a cryptic tweet from the once and future Mrs. Topanga Matthews, Danielle Fishel: “Just want you guys to know that@BenSavage and I have talked and we've decided...Thanksgiving is going to be delicious this year!” Turns out the actress was simply employing some season-one-Topanga-style mysticism, foreseeing the post-Thanksgiving announcement that both she and Savage have signed on to reprise their Boy Meets World roles for the Girl Meets World pilot.

Of course, it’s entirely possible Fishel and Savage actually spent Turkey Day drafting up delicious storylines for Rider Strong’s Shawn Hunter—before symbolically “eating” them by tossing the script pages in the garbage. That’s just one of the many conclusions you can jump to—and most Girl Meets World news has been nothing but jumping to conclusions—in the wake of Strong’s statement that he currently has “no official involvement” with the new series. Yes, just like a stable home life, a motorcycle-riding father figure/mentor, or that awesome cult he almost joined that one time until buzzkill Cory told him not to, Shawn Hunter just can’t have nice things. Though he’s awfully appreciative of the continued affection for Boy Meets World, Strong wants fans to know that the new show he probably has no hand in shaping will be its own separate entity: “There might be a chance to see some of the BMW cast in a guest spot, and I think it would be nice to find out where our characters have been all these years. But Girl Meets World will be, and I think it should be, it’s own show. It will be about Cory and Topanga, their daughter, and a new set of characters.” Strong then hung up the payphone and exited the scene while the words “executive producer Michael Jacobs” flashed onscreen, setting out to greener pastures in the final pages of a Girl Meets World spec script which is now totally useless, I guess. Oh well: Now onto to the outline of the Adam Scott vehicle “Griff Returns!” 

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TV: Newswire: Deposed NBC chief Jeff Zucker fails upward into running CNN

Confirming several days' worth of rumors and jokes about Wolf Blitzer suddenly being replaced by Jay Leno, CNN has announced that Jeff Zucker—the man whose questionable tastes, stubbornness about those questionable tastes, and bafflingly shortsighted decision-making dug NBC into the pitiable quagmire that's made its every minor ratings victory in his absence cause for celebration, like a newly dictator-free, yet still-starving nation grateful that the executions have stopped, at least—will be in charge of running CNN now. Zucker's new job begins in January. (Related: Upon hearing his "there are no second acts in American lives" maxim had just been proven wrong once more by corporate meritocracy, F. Scott Fitzgerald drank himself to death all over again.)

Anyway, Time Warner says it chose Zucker due to his history as a news executive, pointing to his successful tenure at Today decades ago as evidence he still has the savvy to revive the lagging CNN, and make it more competitive with the likes of Fox News. And given that Zucker jazzed up Today by making actual news reporting a tangential sideshow—doing things like emphasizing more crowd interaction and introducing its concert series—hey, maybe Time Warner is right. After all, who better to compete with the scare tactics and blustering sensationalism of Fox News' Roger Ailes than the man who brought you Fear Factor and Donald Trump? 

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TV: Newswire: Fox is just going to let The Mob Doctor bleed to death

After months of providing the baseline of "[Show that would have been canceled anyway] was canceled, but The Mob Doctor is still on?", the Fox drama that set the new standard for surviving well past the point of reason finally appears to be done. The network has confirmed that all remaining episodes of the low-rated show will air through Jan. 7, including one scheduled to air on New Year's Eve, which should cause plenty of consternation among its many socialite fans. ("M. ______ regrets to inform she cannot attend the Grand Gala New Year's Ball, as The Mob Doctor is on.") And while Fox refuses to announce officially that the series is dead, its continued poor performance, the lack of a back-nine order or any other episodes scheduled beyond that, and the fact that some of you are going to act like you've never heard of this show in the comments all but confirms that the series is being left to die, with no amount of mob doctorin' that can save it. Hopefully someone can at least amputate Zach Gilford and transplant him elsewhere.  

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TV: Newswire: Stephen King's Under The Dome is now a CBS show

After more than a year in development, Stephen King's Under The Dome is at last headed to television—though not on cable, as originally planned and hoped for, considering all the violence and disemboweling and stuff. Showtime's corporate sister CBS has picked up the project with a straight-to-series order of 13 episodes due to air next summer, in the wake of Showtime passing on the premise for not fitting in with the rest of Showtime's programming (such as a disappointing lack of plotlines in which the dome had sex with someone it shouldn't). All the original behind-the-scenes people are still attached, however: Steven Spielberg's Amblin Television is producing and the script from Brian K. Vaughan is still in play, with Law And Order: SVU's Neal Baer now attached as showrunner and Niels Arden Oplev, director of the original The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, on board to helm the first chapter.

No one involved has yet indicated what the move from cable to broadcast might mean for realizing King's 2009 novel, which concerns a small New England town trapped under a dome that's nearly as massive as the book itself. But since it's now on CBS, presumably each week will find the dome solving an exciting new crime. "I'm not the only thing around here you can see right through," the dome will say to some lying, nervous perp, shortly before he brings the dome-hammer down.  

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TV: Newswire: The CW shuns Emily Owens M.D., just like in high school

In yet more bad news for blond female physicians toiling through a medical career that is also a parallel to something, The CW has followed yesterday's negligent death for Fox's The Mob Doctor by pulling the plug on Emily Owens M.D. It's an inevitable end for the drama that argued that everything in life—even establishing your residency at a hospital—is exactly like high school if you constantly think about it in terms of high school, seeing as its ratings had dipped to a dismal 0.3 share, all the popular kids made fun of it, and even Hart Of Dixie was looking all sidelong at it the other day, even though Emily Owens and Hart Of Dixie used to be best friends. Mamie "Meryl Streep's Daughter" Gummer will make her final pratfall in a lab coat once the show's remaining seven episodes complete their scheduled run, and return home for the holidays to feign being happy for sister Grace when she talks about her upcoming run on The Newsroom. It will be just like in high school. 

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Film: Newswire: Cate Blanchett may be the first to join that Cinderella update that's still happening

Still intent on driving its "reimagining" of Cinderella to the multiplex before the fairy-tale reboot trend hits metaphorical midnight and is revealed to be a rotten idea-pumpkin, Disney has started to move forward on its Mark Romanek-directed update by negotiating with Cate Blanchett, who would be the first to join the film. Blanchett would assume the role of Cinderella's icy, intimidating stepmother, a part Blanchett would approach by continuing to open her eyes and breathe. Still no word yet on who will play the title role in the film inspired by the dreams of all little girls to participate in the mining of Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland for further profit, though presumably whoever it is would take the backseat anyway to whatever minor male role will be suddenly expanded to get Johnny Depp in there. Such as, say, the Coachman.  

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Film: Newswire: Today in Star Wars rumors: Actually, Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg might be doing Star Wars spinoffs instead

Those recent reports that Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg had been approached to draft Episodes 8 and 9 seemed to provide some semblance of straightforward closure to at least one aspect of the increasingly muddled Star Wars rumor mill, and therefore they must be destroyed. According to The Hollywood Reporter, it seems that Kasdan and Kinberg have been hired to work on the Star Wars franchise, but not necessarily on the next two official chapters. Rather, they might instead be focusing on "spinoffs" separate from the next trilogy akin to the individual character films in the Marvel universe, and certainly not akin to Ewoks: The Battle For Endor, because ha ha, that film doesn't exist. You only dreamed it. Wilford Brimley and Ewoks? That makes no sense. 

Anyway, like all Star Wars reports, none of this has been officially confirmed by Disney or Lucasfilm, but we're reporting it regardless, as we are suckers and so are you. But given that Kasdan's work on Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi specialized in dialogue-driven moments, such as the bickering between Han Solo and Princess Leia, we're nevertheless eagerly await his searing drama exploring the dissolution of their marriage, Who's Afraid Of The Bounty Hunter In Ord Mantell? 

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Music: Newswire: Buy the "Butt Hoodie" and other clothes Yoko Ono designed for John Lennon's "hot bod"

A hot pink mesh shirt that, sadly, John Lennon did not live to wear.

Yoko Ono has, since the death of John Lennon, carried on his mission of engendering world peace, mostly by uniting the world in laughter at Yoko Ono. That mission continues with the debut of Yoko Ono's new fashion collection for Opening Ceremony, based on designs that Ono originally sketched as a wedding present for Lennon in 1969—designs that, in case you were feeling too comfortable about the legacy and lingering dignity of John Lennon today, Ono says were intended to celebrate "John's hot bod." As she explains in words that came out of the mouth of Yoko Ono regarding John Lennon, and not, say, from a rich, babbling housewife on reality TV, "I was inspired to create 'Fashions for Men,' [because I was] amazed at how my man was looking so great. I felt it was a pity if we could not make clothes emphasizing his very sexy bod."

Indeed, what a pity it was that John Lennon was slain by an assassin's bullet before getting to wear these Ono-created clothes, and that he died before ever getting to preach a message of "Power To The People" underscored by a hand constantly grabbing his crotch. But finally, you can free yourself from the oppression of drawing hands on your crotches, and concentrate that energy on reclaiming that power. After all, as Lennon once said, "Life is what happens to you when you're busy drawing hands on your crotches." Also, there's a Butt Hoodie, with a butt on it.

All Ono is saying is give her "peekaboo pants with handprint patches and sheer behinds" and "hot pink blazers with mesh sleeves and tanks with nipple cutouts" a chance. 

There is also a "Bell Board"—a "transparent plaque with working chrome bells" whose inscription instructs you to "Ring for your mommy piece"—and a "flashing LED bra" that once might have playfully announced to the world, "I am a genius songwriter whose words and melodies will resonate long after my tragic death. Look at the ringing bells and flashing man boobs on my hot bod!" Yes, what a pity John Lennon never got the chance to be caught dead in these.  [via Complex]

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Music: Newswire: Low's new Jeff Tweedy-produced record to come out in March

Low will release its tenth record, The Invisible Way, March 19. The record was produced by Jeff Tweedy and recorded at Wilco’s studio in Chicago, as we reported earlier this year.

Low has also just released a six-song live EP, Low—Plays Nice Places, recorded at various theaters on the band’s April 2012 tour with Death Cab For Cutie. DCFC frontman Ben Gibbard appears on one track, “Words.” That record is available for download via a widget here.

The band will tour Europe next Spring. Dates are below.

 

April 24—Glee Club—Birmingham, United Kingdom
April 25—Central Methodist Hall—Manchester, United Kingdom
April 26—The Sage Gateshead—Gateshead, United Kingdom
April 27—Classic Grand—Glasgow, United Kingdom
April 29—Trinity—Bristol, United Kingdom
April 30—Barbican Centre—London, United Kingdom
May 2—Loppen—Copenhagen, Denmark
May 3—Debaser—Stockholm, Sweden
May 4—Bla—Oslo, Norway
May 7—La Maroquinerie—Paris, France
May 8—Cirque Royale—Nuits Botanique—Brussels, Belgium
May 9—Paradiso De Duif—Amsterdam, The Netherlands
May 10—Zoom—Frankfurt, Germany
May 11—Teatro Antoniano—Bologna, Italy
May 13—Casino De La Alianca—Barcelona, Spain
May 14—Teatro La Rambleta—Valencia, Spain
May 15—Teatro De Las Esquina—Zaragoza, Spain
May 16—Joy Eslava—Madrid, Spain
May 17—Lava—Valladolid, Spain
May 18—Atabal—Biarritz, France

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TV: Newswire: Archer and Justified and then some other shows get premiere dates

FX has released its annual schedule of reasons not to smash your television into kindling, but rather to watch basic cable while using your furniture and pets for that. January 8 will see the return of Justified, with Timothy Olyphant's Raylan Givens diving deep into yet another Kentucky-fried crime bucket that leads him to meet "the hill people" (though not these hill people), while Walton Goggins' Boyd Crowder tangles with a fiery Pentecostal preacher who's probably also doing something he shouldn't be, as is everyone in Harlan. Then January 17 sees the debut of FX's Thursday night comedy block, kicking off with the contractually mandated back-90 episodes of Charlie Sheen's Anger Management that you'll catch the last couple of minutes of and subsequently sneer at when you DVR Archer, which returns in the 10 p.m. ET slot immediately after.

Following that is the premiere of FX's new series Legit, an autobiographical, slightly more sitcom-y sounding play on Louie that stars Australian comic Jim Jefferies as… Australian comic Jim Jefferies. The night concludes with the recently renewed Totally Biased With Kamau Bell and then, before you know it, spring will be here and you can go chase butterflies again. Enjoy your few months of mercy, butterflies! 

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TV: Newswire: God's own personal half-man apologizes to lowly filth-miners of Two And A Half Men

Having issued his stern warnings about America's growing godlessness, imploring the nation to reject the "filth" of Two And A Half Men the same way it had expelled the Irish and the pagan Injuns—only to be met with the raucous sounds of a discontented rabble, and a chattering ticker-tape predicting his own falling fortunes—Angus T. Steakflower grudgingly crushed his stovepipe hat in hand to grovel for forgiveness.

"My heart 'tis filled with pity for all these lowly men, soft as city women, who tremble so before the thunderbolt of the Lord! Why, these timid, mewling cowards who buy their way into Mammon's consort one ha'penny dick jest at a time are as craven as General William S. Rosecrans himself!" Steakflower began railing, before being reminded by his management team that he is paid the handsome sum of $350,000 per episode to provide the merest semblance of storytelling purpose to a bafflingly popular sitcom, and that he should show a bit more contrition if he wished that to continue.

So, Steakflower had said team write this up, and then he stabbed ostrich feather into inkwell and affixed his name to it:

I have been the subject of much discussion, speculation and commentary over the past 24 hours. While I cannot address everything that has been said or right every misstatement or misunderstanding, there is one thing I want to make clear. Without qualification, I am grateful to and have the highest regard and respect for all of the wonderful people on Two and Half Men with whom I have worked and over the past 10 years who have become an extension of my family.

Chuck Lorre, Peter Roth and many others at Warner Bros. and CBS are responsible for what has been one of the most significant experiences in my life to date. I thank them for the opportunity they have given and continue to give me and the help and guidance I have and expect to continue to receive from them. I also want all of the crew and cast on our show to know how much I personally care for them and appreciate their support, guidance and love over the years. I grew up around them and know that the time they spent with me was in many instances more than with their own families. I learned life lessons from so many of them and will never forget how much positive impact they have had on my life.

I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference to and disrespect of my colleagues and a lack of appreciation of the extraordinary opportunity of which I have been blessed. I never intended that.

Having thus shown proper appreciation toward all those laborers who have long toiled in the filth-mines to fill his coffers—whose slow dig to Hell has created his nearby holy mountain, from which he can look down on them in pious pity—Steakflower at last felt himself unburdened. Like Jesus Christ Himself, he had shown them all that he hated the sin, but loved the sinner.

And the money.  

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Film: Newswire: Moonrise Kingdom is mainstream cinema's reckoning at the Gotham Independent Film Awards

Along with Mr. Skin's annual listing of the Top Nude Scenes, the year truly begins winding its prolonged, masturbatory way to a close with the announcement of the Gotham Independent Film Awards, which officially kicks off the season of self-congratulation. As it has for 22 ceremonies now, a rogues' gallery of Gotham's most twisted, dastardly independent film producers met by moonlight to concoct their needlessly elaborate master plan to honor the year's best in independent film and be the instrument of the multiplex's liberation, daring someone to swoop in and stop them. And for the 22nd year, no one did, so they handed Moonrise Kingdom the Best Feature prize—an honor that has in the past gone to eventual Oscar nominees The Tree Of Life, Winter's Bone, and The Hurt Locker, suggesting Wes Anderson's film could possibly be on the same trajectory. None shall interfere!

Other winners included Beasts Of The Southern Wild's Benh Zeitlin winning Breakthrough Director; Emayatzy Corinealdi taking Breakthrough Actor/Actress for her role in The Middle Of Nowhere; Best Documentary going to How To Survive A Plague; Best Film Not Playing At A Theater Near You going to An Oversimplification Of Her Beauty; and Your Sister's Sister winning the Best Ensemble Award—which was something of a surprise, given that Silver Linings Playbook seemed the favorite. Still, that was nothing compared to Sundance darling Beasts Of The Southern Wild losing the Audience Award to Jared Leto's documentary Artifact, an upset that even Leto acknowledged didn't feel right. That the film concerns the making of a 30 Seconds To Mars album—and given the fact that voting for the Audience Award takes place entirely online, the natural habitat of 30 Seconds To Mars fans—leads us to only one conclusion: Artifact must be really, really good. 

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Film: Newswire: UPDATE: It's already time for the "Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Justice League" rumors to begin, and then be denied

Since it was first announced, Warner Bros.' Justice League has spurred a lot of questions, such as: How will it connect—if at all—with Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, given that they are the studio's only successful movies set in DC Comics universe? Will Justice League attempt to bring in Man Of Steel's version of Superman, as director Zack Snyder seemed to be hinting at (reluctantly and cryptically) in this recent interview, and does Christopher Nolan's involvement as a producer on Man Of Steel suggest he may be more engaged in shaping the future of DC movies than he'll publicly admit? And how soon can we begin speculating that Joseph Gordon-Levitt will be in this thing?

Naturally, answers to nearly all of those questions remain up in the air, but as to that last one, HitFix says the answer is "right now, and fervently." It now insists that it hears from sources close to the film that Gordon-Levitt is "absolutely" involved in Justice League, taking up the mantle of Batman that [SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT YET SEEN THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, DESPITE OSTENSIBLY BEING INVESTED IN COMIC-BOOK MOVIES ENOUGH TO READ AN ARTICLE ABOUT THIS] Gordon-Levitt's character seemed poised to inherit at the end of Nolan's last film.

In fact, despite Gordon-Levitt himself saying that he didn't "necessarily" see that ending as a set-up for a sequel or spinoff, and the general sense from Nolan that he'd prefer his films to remain self-contained, and the early word from Warner Bros. that they intended to totally reinvent Batman from here, and the fact that sugarcane is one of the main exports of Paraguay, HitFix says deals are currently "solidifying" for Gordon-Levitt and "at least one other actor from the Nolan films"—and since everyone's just wildly speculating today, we'll go ahead and guess it's everyone's favorite sage, elderly black man, Anne Hathaway.

If HitFix's report proves to be true, you might not have to wait until 2015 to find out, which will be a relief: It also hints at the possibility, egged on by Snyder's very vague suggestion that his film will set the course for the Justice League film, that Man Of Steel will put things in motion by having Henry Cavill's Superman meet with Joseph Gordon-Levitt's new Batman—potentially in a post-credits sequence, since Warner Bros. is attempting to ape Marvel's strategy here anyway. Of course, Man Of Steel doesn't debut until June, so you still have plenty of months for even more rhetorical questioning and rumormongering like this. For instance, here's one: Maybe it will actually be Ryan Reynolds reprising his role as Green Lantern for Man Of Steel? Not in the actual film, of course, but when he goes to the theater, like he does sometimes.  

UPDATE: As every Batman-related rumor must be, Entertainment Weekly has declared HitFix's report "entirely false," according to one of Gordon-Levitt's representatives. Notice, however, that they did not deny that he will be playing The Riddler. 

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